Saturday, May 20, 2006
I hate being sick.
I can't eat shit, I feel miserable being unable to breathe through my nose, my voice has gone hoarse and half the time I can't stay awake because of the stupid drugs I have to take.
I am fucking pissed at whoever passed me the cold/cough virus. What the hell, next time you sneeze or cough cover your mouth, dammit! Why, because you got sick you want the world to fall sick as well? Well I think it's plain selfish of you. Yeah, I know you're sick too and you feel shitty because of that, but do you gain a twisted sort of satisfaction from seeing everyone else suffer along with you?
For the record, I'm not directing this at anyone in particular. But I've an idea who passed me the virus. Just so you know, it is fucking miserable to be sick. Especially for me, because I have matches and trainings every day next week and I can't not go to school! And I do want to play, or at least, TRAIN PROPERLY.
I KNOW I can pitch WITH SPEED. I've proved that while pitching to Flea without a catcher. Just that something came along from the point when Jinghan took over catching and I started screwing up. I lost my flick and rushed my stepping. Maybe it was cos Coach came and started watching. Or maybe it's cos when I pitch to Simin I don't feel right... I haven't pitched to her in so long. And Simin probably doesn't want to catch for me cos I always pitch balls to her. It's not her fault and I don't blame her at all. I don't want to pitch balls to her. I want to pitch nice, fast strikes like Flea.
I kind of think I just lost the connection with the softballers.
Actually I don't want to think about it.
Everything came at the wrong time. Right after the EOIs I have PTs to submit next week, along with zonals. I enjoy zonals, I really do, but it's just not the same with all these around. Fine la it's my fault this time because I didn't start on them earlier, but how much time did we even have before EOIs to begin with?
